The Host with Almost the Most

It was June 16 2012

I was hosting the Hudson Pride Connections Centers YouthConnect LGBT prom. Just a couple of weeks before, my life seemed like it was perfect. I was about to turn 26 and I was in love with someone who I thought had loved me too... From the outside looking in, it seemed perfect. But from the inside it was really about to crash down in flames.

On my 26th birthday, May 30th I had gotten a surprise birthday cake by the man I had loved in front of our friends. It was truly the first time someone had EVER surprised me on my birthday.
He had gotten away with it. I was truly surprised and I even cried. Just to wake up the next day and be told he didn't love me anymore.
And this seems like a set up for a bad lifetime movie. Where the lover has been cheating with the "victims" best friend for as long as the couple have been together. God if it were a movie, I would want Columbus Short to play me..

I suck at going through things publicly. I'm known as a private person, I don't always discuss my personal life. However, since Tiger and I weren't really together on paper; because he was still in so many ways connected to his ex-boyfriend (now boyfriend)
Our relationship was only made known to people he and I had known. It sucked.
After the fall out with Tiger I stayed below radar. It was hard for me to take. All of the plans I had for us, I cancelled. Photo shoots. Ads with different people. Cancelled. I didn't want to do it anymore. It wasn't where my heart was. So hosting this prom seemed like the end of the world for me.

Then on June 8th I had found out that my body had weird cancerous cells. It had to be treated. The last thing I wanted to do was be sick. How was I going to tell my mom? I didn't even know how to tell my sister. So I opted to keep it a secret. And so I did. I stayed home and I didn't contact anyone. I was already almost broke at this time.
I realized that I was losing weight. I realized that I was getting...
Weaker. I also realized that my hair was falling out... But, it took too much to tell others what was going on. I needed to know that I would be okay before I told anyone else what was going on with me.

Then just a couple of days before the prom, I saw him with his boyfriend. Then I saw him later at a friends house. We talked. We admitted we missed each other. I told myself things will be okay..

But when the prom started, I wasn't okay. I was sick to my stomach. After vomiting and feeling nauseous all day. The last thing I wanted to do was host a gay prom.. Especially for a bunch of gay kids I hated. I really didn't want to be there. I had felt like I had been knocked over the head the whole entire night.
But as soon as I was introduced... It was show time. When I heard Rihanna coming from the speakers, and when I was pushed to make my entrance... It was a wrap. I gave the crowd what they wanted.. I was shaking with fear the whole time.
I was sweating. I wasn't sure if I could pull it off. I remember telling Stephanie Mills (staff at Hpc) I wasn't certain that I could host or that I would be a good host., I cried the whole night before without sleeping. I was so nervous. If this prom sucked, it would be my failure as a host.

The whole night wasn't as successful as I thought it would be. It went well and for the most part everyone had a lot of fun. There were some high points in the Night. There was a conga line. Drag queens performing and I enjoyed being there that night with my entourage (the JC crew). It's easy to say that we ruled the prom. We were the mean girls!!! But then came time for a dance contest. Everyone thought it would be a great idea. Until we realized that the DJ had no music for the kids to vogue to... Wait what??? You are a DJ at a gay party and you don't have Vogue music??? Nightmare. Honestly, I had to make due with a dance contest that pretty much sucked. After it was over, I went outside to get some air and cried. When someone who was assisting me came to make sure I was okay.. I needed air. I wanted to be home sleeping. My body was weak. It was hard being heartbroken, weak and sad that night and then put on a good show for a crowd you didn't want to be around..

To these people I was fake. I was phony. A lot of them wanted to see me fail at my hosting duties.. I didn't, I put on one hell of a show. The reviews speak for themselves. There were people there who has done everything possible to ruin my reputation as the good boy next door... but regardless of all of that. i am still Justice.. It was so hard hosting that prom with a weak body, but i did it.... and i would do it again...
It cracks me up when people say shit about me. SOmetimes it hurts. I never get to tell my side of the story..
But there's a story behind every picture... This is mine...